Happy New Year! (Feels like this is my first “real” post of the year - Midnights was kind of a holdover from 2022.) January has been a blink and also an eternity, somehow. I had a slow start to the year recovering from covid, after which Tyler & I dove headfirst into our joint goal for 2023: doing home improvement projects. (So far: painting our bedroom a moody dark green! getting a new toilet seat - glamorous! replacing the kitchen faucet! killing mold underneath said faucet - terrifying! replacing our ugly closet doors with curtains!)
In the midst of all that, I attended a favorite things party hosted by my friend & colleague Taylor! It was so fun and made for a fantastic mixer - you leave knowing something about each person, and an insight into who they are through their favorite things. …and now that I’ve written that, I am laughing at how ‘me’ my choices were. I brought a “dupe duo”: Vaseline Rosy Lips as a dupe for Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask (Original), and Trader Joe’s Daily Facial Sunscreen as a dupe for SuperGoop Unseen Sunscreen. She loves skincare and she loves a bargain! 💅🏼
…and since that’s basically what amuse bouches is - my favorite things as of late - let’s keep the list going!
a much-needed laugh
Atsuko Okatsuka: The Intruder | You might remember her dropping it to Partition this time last year. You’ve probably also seen the brightly-colored key art for her special on HBO Max and hovered over it indecisively. This is me telling you to click play next time because she is hilarious! Like, make-you-belly-laugh-despite-being-miserable-because-of-covid funny. (And if you are craving more, she also appeared as a guest on Scam Goddess, one of my favorite podcasts!)
comfort
I bought these lounge pants from Athleta during their holiday sale, and have needed to proselytize their comfort since the moment I put them on! They’re drapey, suuuper-soft, and unlikely to garner any side-eyes on your walk to the mailbox. Reviews recommend sizing down from your normal size, and I agree. (I am a size 12, and wear both M & L in their leggings. I bought the L and definitely should’ve gotten the M.) They’re still on sale, although it’s slightly slim-pickings. BUT! here’s a hot tip: if they don’t have what you want, there is an impressive amount of new/like-new Athleta on Poshmark!
newsletter digest
Amy Odell has done it. This is the fashion journalism - unencumbered by advertiser/celebrity/c-suite influences - that you’ve always wanted. She draws from 15+ years of reporting on fashion and culture (including her wonderful book, ANNA: The Biography) to inform her writing, sharing insider tidbits and insightful, level-headed commentary. If you’ve been searching for the thrill you felt upon first reading/viewing The Devil Wears Prada, Amy’s your gal. personal fave: her Confessions series.
I <3 Mess is everything you loved about aughts pop culture blogs, and none of the things you didn’t. (body shaming, slut shaming, homophobia, sexism, racism…basically anything P*r*z H*lt*n did.) By highlighting the particular absurdities of celebrity fashion, author Emily Kirkpatrick pokes and prods an industry that can be very self-serious with commentary that isn’t. see: her post-Golden Globes issue
The Unpublishable shares a modus operandi with Back Row. (Crossover content!) Jessica DeFino takes an unapologetically radical stance against the beauty industry, interrogating and unraveling its doctrine. Her work makes me think reeeal long and hard about what ideologies we are actually buying into (literally trying to buy via products!) when we pursue “beauty standards,” and what meaningful divestment from them might look like. good places to start: her 2022 story round-up. Skincare Is Dewy Diet Culture. Open Thread: Pretty Dangerous.
practices
Serotonin Sundays | Technically, it should probably be ~dopamine~ Sundays, but I’m not a scientist and that’s not as catchy. On a particularly scary Sunday evening a couple months ago, Tyler suggested that we watch a funny/feel-good movie to ease our minds, and thus began a weekly tradition. Additional ways we’ve pursued feel-good chemicals: a workout or long walk, an “everything shower,” nourishing skincare, cozy loungewear, reading/creative time, comfort food for dinner, and going to bed early!!! (Mondays are Mondays, but they’re a little better with 9 hours of sleep under your belt.)
5 deep breaths | This is just a silly little way that I have tricked my ADHD brain into adding a bit of meditation to my morning routine. It’s very low-pressure: all I have to do is take 5 deep breaths of fresh air. That’s it. Turns out, setting a low bar makes it more likely that I will 1) actually do it, and 2) spend a few additional moments being present and observing the world waking up!
Showing Up | The most impactful thing I have done for my creative practice this month is simple: show up. Looking back at 2022, I realized some of my most magical moments had been the result of showing up - yet I hadn’t shown up for the work I most desperately wanted to do. (this!) I’ve already done enough self-shaming, so I will extend myself a bit of grace here: figuring out how to work WITH my brain instead of against it is a skill that I have made a lot of progress in, and will probably be learning forever.
While thinking about what I wanted to do differently this year, I remembered something my therapist told me: if you’re having a hard time getting started, the first step is too big. So, as mentioned above, I gave myself permission to set the bar obscenely low. Instead of trying to follow some program or stringent schedule, I committed to just show up to my creative practice. Every day. No more waiting around for some ~*magical breeze of inspiration*~ to motivate me to do work.
Last week, in a moment of synchronicity, I opened instagram and saw a post by my friend Morgan. She is a talented visual artist who champions creativity in others, and has been a gracious influence in my life for a few years now. Flipping through the carousel of her post, I almost fell out of my chair - a quote from a recent interview mirrored what I had written to myself at the beginning of the year:
The muse is not a real thing. You show up every day, change your scenery or read a book if you need to reinfuse yourself - but show up to the practice every day.
Well, hell - I’m convinced.
see y’all later -
jess
🧡